It seems that some people have read into my last few posts that I am going through all this major depression now. I'm not. It was back in 2004 that this whole thing started. While it is true that bipolar does not go away - I will have it for life - it is also true that there can be periods of "remission" where, with the help of medications, I will be symptom free. I did have a little blip last week where depression descended for four days, but now I am back to being right as rain.
In fact, for the last 14 months I have been better, with fewer bouts of depression or mania, than I have had for all of my adult life. I have had only one mentionable bit of depression (last week) and no mania. Life is good! (although just a tiny bit of hypo-mania might be handy once in a while cause I get TONS of stuff done!).
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Yesterday, just as Carm was heading out the door to visit his mom, the internet went down! YIKES! Withdrawal started right away! What was I going to do? Well, I got busy. First I gathered all the stationary from around the house - it was stashed everywhere. I sorted and arranged it and decided where to put it. The only problem... the cupboard where I wanted to put it had a bunch of stuff in it... so... I started organizing that cupboard, which meant that I had to organize the whole wall unit... you know how that goes, the ripple effect. Now the house was in a giant mess. It was about then that the phone rang. It was Christina wondering about coming over for tea. Of course I wanted to see her - no turning back from the mess now, I had about 45 minutes to finish the job. I got it done right in the nick of time but didn't have time to wet down my hair and get it into some semblance of normal - it was sticking out all over like Einstein.
After Christina left, and with no internet back yet, I tackled the wrapping paper situation. Again, it was everywhere. Again there was a huge (even bigger) ripple effect. In fact I had to give up in the middle because my back was hurting and I had what I thought was another hour of chaos to corral. This morning I got started... hours later I got it done and I'm happy with the result. At one point I looked up and there was stuff all down the hall, all over the spare bedroom bed and floor, on our bed and on the floor of our closet. OMG! It was like a bomb had gone off throwing all my stuff helter skelter! It is at that point that it would have been so easy to become overwhelmed and give up, but no, I kept my head down (so I didn't see most of it) and kept going. I finally got everything put back together, but I also see that there are more little hideaways that need to be addressed. Still it felt good. But it does seem that all I have done is move scads of stuff from one place to another, but haven't gotten rid of much (but I did get rid of some things - honestly!). I've also added to the mess of the basement. I keep thinking that with just the right storage solution my woes would be over. Ha.
And did the internet ever come back? Obviously yes as I have posted this, however it did require Carm calling Bell. It seems they inadvertently cancelled us in anticipation of our new service. What the $%^! They so rarely get things right.
When I checked the mail box this afternoon I was pleased to find a parcel notification. Sure enough, it was my blog book for the second part of 2011. It is a great memory book that I’ll be able to enjoy years from now. My age shows here – I need a hard-copy!
We are getting some snow here - it is almost like a blizzard with the gusting winds. This afternoon I took the dogs out for a few minutes, but had to drag Kabira by the collar to get her out of the house. Her teeth were chattering like crazy before I even got her out the door. She KNEW it was cold outside, silly girl.
In the depth of winter I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.
Albert Camus
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